Toxic Behaviors To Leave Behind In 2021

 

                Source: Picjumbo

Three cheers for Friday, Mes Amies!

How are you today? We are already one week into 2021, time flies. I figured that today would be a good time to do a "Thoughts Friday" post. Its a new year. For many folks its also a time for new behaviors, new routines and new attitudes.

Back toward the end of last year we discussed the types of toxic people to remove from your life. ( Read That Here ) Today , we are going to be a bit more introspective. Today, we are going to go inward and look at things we might do which are toxic to ourselves. 

I put a lot of thought into this. The lock down during this pandemic caused me to really look at myself and identify things that I was doing or thinking that I needed to work to rectify. 

Since March of 2020 I have immersed myself into "self-help" books. I have no shame in admitting that. I was determined to make the most of that forced 'down time'. 

The things listed here below are the things that were identified across the board as being detrimental to the well being of those who partake in them.

• Picking Pp Your Phone As Soon As You Wake Up

Instead of using your morning for you, you are scrolling through social media. This shows that you are putting more time an attention into the lives of others than you are your own. Instead of immediately starting the scroll to see who's doing what, focus on you. Drink a large glass of water, set intentions and plan your day.

• Seeking Validation and Praise On Social Media

We've somehow founds ourselves in a time where its completely acceptable to post pictures and updates or to virtue signal  specifically to receive praise or validation. This is SO unhealthy. If you like the way your makeup looks or if you are so proud of your spouse for something they accomplished, that should be enough. When you post these things with the intention of "Showing off", you are giving your power away. Suddenly , you liking or being happy about something will not be as valuable to you if its tied into you watching to see how many "likes" roll in. I'm a people person. I naturally want to share my life with others. However, I know that I cannot rely on them to make me feel good about myself. If you are dependent on the praise of others, you will never have peace. 

• Taking Everything Personally

This was a BIG one for me. If someone was in a bad mood, it MUST of been something I had done. If someone didn't like the meal at a restaurant, it HAD to of been my fault for suggesting we eat there.

This mindset will cause you to question and doubt yourself constantly. 

You are in NO WAY responsible for the thoughts, feelings or moods of anyone but yourself.

• Bottling Up Your Emotions

Another one that I too have been guilty of. You do not want to express how you feel because you are afraid that you'll upset someone. You do not call attention to when someone does or says something hurtful to you. Instead, you convince yourself that its better to "let it go".

NO. DO NOT do that, it will eat you alive. Doing this comes from a place of thinking that you are not worthy enough to stand up for yourself. You ARE worthy. 

• People Pleasing

Three in a row now for things that I can personally speak to. I have been guilty of this one my whole life long. I have (finally) come to understand that continually putting the wants and needs of others ahead of my own comes squarely from a place of insecurity. This behavior leads to you feeling a whole lot of resentment. Its not worth it.

• Comparing Yourself To Others

This one is SO SO SO toxic. Also, it comes from a place of insecurity. Your subconscious id telling you "If you could just one up that person over there...then you'll be good and worthy." The thing is though, you can never truly be subjective in what you are comparing about yourself against others. Here's an example, say one person is feeling superior because they have a much larger house than their co-worker does. However, that co-worker might have a small house by choice because they prefer a cozy home to an opulent one.

• Feeding Drama

Drama need attention in order to survive. As soon as drama is starved of energy, it dies. Therefore, always be very conscious as to how you respond to people and situations. Do not pour gasoline on the flame.  The drama lamas of the world will soon realize that you are not going to give them the reaction they want. They will move along, trust me.

Do you see any of your own traits listed out here? Its okay if you do. None of us perfect. We are all humans. The thing is you deserve to be kind to you. 

Go on and and have a wonderful weekend you beautiful soul. 💜

XO,

SheShe