Happy Friday, Mes Amies!
So, today is another one of those #thoughtsfriday posts. I know that the title of this blog post might come off as harsh.
From the time that we are young girls, we are taught to play nice always and befriend everyone that you encounter. As we grow, this is not always the best thing for us. There is an old adage that you are the sum of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time. Whether this is true or not, there are sadly some toxic people who will wreak havoc on your mental well being. These are the people that you must remove from your life. It does not matter if its your sister, your cousin, your college roommate, etc. NOBODY is allowed to bring you harm. You are allowed to (and should) have an enough self love to not stand for making room for any of the following types of people in your life.
1) The One Who Seeks Out Conflict
You KNOW who I mean. This person has a LOT of pent up anger. They purposely misconstrue the words of others in order to fain offence. They are the ones who use their social media to post inflammatory things just hoping they can bait someone, anyone into fighting them. In public places such as stores they are hyper vigilant for even the smallest perceived slight. They are just itching to berate some poor employee and complain to the manager. Let this person fight with you in their mind. Do not give them the chance to do it in real life.
2) The One Who Speaks Badly Of Others
This person has something negative to say about EVERYONE. There isn't a person alive who will not have something said about them behind their backs. They seek out ANY chance to speak ill of others. When you say something complimentary about someone, this person chimes in with a "Yes, but..." and then proceeds to take the ball and run their mouth with slander. The person who does this is unhappy to the core with themselves. They are desperately trying to make themselves feel better. These people will talk poorly about you the 1st time the opportunity arises.
( Interesting side note on this one. My dear friend who is a psychiatrist told me that this is a way to see what a person dislikes about themselves. "If you spot it, you got it." Meaning what someone says disparagingly about another is actually something that they dislike about themselves.)
3) The One Who Is Envious Of You
You cannot be friends with someone who wants your life. - Oprah Winfrey
This person appears, at least initially to be a supportive friend. Yet, their envy and resentment towards you makes them anything but. ( Read More Here) This is the person who is secretly rooting against you. They might go as far a try to sabotage you.
4) The One With Addictions
First things first, no we are not necessarily talking about substance abuse here. Addictions certainly could refer to drugs or alcohol. However, shopping, gaming, the internet among countless other things can fall under this umbrella. Absolutely, having empathy and compassion for this person is very important. Remember though, you cannot let others make their problems your problems. You cannot let the shopping addict convince you to drain your savings. You cannot let the alcoholic guilt you into drinking with them on a Monday night.
5) The Entitled One
This is the person who believes that the world needs to meet them on their terms at all times.
When they are not catered too, they believe themselves to be the maligned party.
If they have a deadline to meet, you are expected to cancel your plans to help them meet it.
If you are planning a dinner party , you'd better put their dietary concerns ahead of the other guests.
This is the person who actually believes that their wants and needs should be priority number 1 to everyone else.
I understand that it is not possible to entirely avoid these people. If Linda from accounting is like this, you cannot just quit your job. If your BFF's sister in law fits this bill, you cannot always avoid her.
The idea here is to keep these people at an arm's length and never, ever let them into your inner circle.
Do not sacrifice yourself in an attempt to "be nice" to others, Particularly, those who do not deserve it.
Well, this one was sort of heavy. Onward with light and love.
Have a beautiful weekend.
XO,
SheShe
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