Step-By-Step smokey eye tutorial

Happy Summer Friday!
Any fun plans this weekend? If you are going out and about this weekend, today's post is for you.
Today, we are going to break down how to do the perfect smokey eye. The smokey eye is universally flattering. It can be done in the lightest of nude shades for daytime or dark, vampy shades for the most dramatic evening look.

For some reason, the smokey eye is intimidating to many people. In reality, it's simple to do. Please don't be afraid to try it. Even if you mess it up (You won't!), its just makeup and can be washed right off.

First off, gather up what you'll need. Here are my suggestions :

• Whitening eye-drops
• Eye shadow primer
• Your favorite eye shadow quad
• Eyelash Curler
• Your favorite mascara
• False Eyelashes & glue (optional)
• Eyeliner

Now on to the how-do!

Step one:

Apply whitening eye-drops. The whiter your eyes, the more this smokey eye will pop.

I use Lumify and love it. 

Lumify

Step two:

Put an eye shadow primer on all over your lid.

You might think that this step is one you can skip. Don't. Primer makes your eye shadow last much longer. Also, it makes blending far easier.

My all time favorite is Too Faced Eye Insurance...a little goes a LONG way.

                                     Too Faced Eye Insurance 

Step Three:

Once your shadow primer is completely dry, apply the lightest shade in your quad. Apply it from your lash line up to your brow.

Step four:

Apply dark brown or black eyeliner (pencil) to both your top and bottom lash lines. Don't be worried about having the line perfect, you'll be smudging it out later. This creates an extra smokey line.

My choice for this is Tarte's "Man eater" self sharpening liner. I have between 25-30 eyeliners, this one gets picked up 9 times out of 10.

Tarte ManEater

Step Five:

Now, take the 2nd lightest shade in your quad. You are going to apply this from your lash line up to your crease. Once you have done that, blend it into the first shade you applied.

Step Six:

Take the 2nd darkest shade and reinforce your crease with it. Blend well.

Now, apply his shade over your eyeliner on your lower lash line.

Step Seven:

With a light hand (you can always add more), take the darkest eye shadow and make a side ways V with it. On your left eye, it should resemble the "less than" sign  < and on your right eye, it should resemble the "greater than" sign > .

Again, BLEND!

Step Eight:

Curl your lashes and put on your favorite mascara. Don't be skimpy, I use three coats. Add your falsies now if you  if you so choose!

Ta-Da, you are now rocking a smokey eye, you goddess!

Here is one I did for a very fancy night out in Vegas. Fake lashes for days.

I tend to do a lighter lipstick with a smokey eye, but that's just my preference. You do you babe!

XO,

SheShe

Being on the receiving end of envy.

Hello there, and happy hump day. 

I have a friend who is younger than myself by 15+ years. She's exactly who I'd of wanted for a little sister, if I'd had one.
I truly can say there is not one negative thing that could be said about her.
After busting her butt in school, she recently just landed an AMAZING, prestigious job, all on her own. No family connections, no favors, she did it all by herself.
Among the congratulations, she had a family member (by marriage) say,  "I'm so surprised they hired you, I'm SURE they had more qualified applicants!" With the obligatory "No offense" thrown in, which is supposedly going to somehow make that statement less egregious.  

As my friend was telling me about this encounter, all I could think was "I've seen this show before."

"Jealous" is often used when someone actually means "Envy". Jealousy, involves 3 people. Think of the feelings the once only child had when mom and dad bring home a new baby. He is jealous of the attention his new sibling is getting. "Envy" involves two parties. Think of how you might envy your friend who has never had a bad hair day in her life. Does this make sense? 

Sticking with the scenario of envying your friend with great hair, that's what is considered "benign envy." Meaning, there is nothing at all malicious about it.  If asked "Are you envious of Becky's hair?" The friend might respond along the lines of "Of course! Look how shiny and healthy it is! Who wouldn't be envious of her hair!!"
What I described though in regards to my friend and her new job, that's something which is far darker. That is what is called "malignant envy." Malignant, as it is a metaphoric cancer.

This is what Dr. Leonard Shengold says this type of envy is:

Clinically, one sees in malignant envy the phenomenon of the subject feeling with delusional intensity that what the envied one has is not only urgently wanted but has been stolen from the self.

In other words, the envious persons wants something that you have. They feel that they are entitled to it, and you are not worthy of having it and that you somehow "stole" it from them in the first place.

While the list of things you could be envied for is endless, I find there is one thing that evokes it more than anything- being happy.

Designer bags, tropical vacations,a "perfect" body, a new luxury car will all be causes of envy. In my personal experience, NOTHING will cause you to be the victim of other people's envy more than being happy.  

Of course, when you are dealing with a healthy person, you don't end up being on the receiving end of their envy. At least not in this malignant way. When someone has sound mental health, they understand that you and your life has no bearing on their life.
Where you run into trouble is when you you are dealing with someone who is unfortunate enough to not have a strong hold in their mental health well being. Often, you'll find these people high on the narcissistic scale.


If you look on-line, you'll find countless articles on how to deal with envy if you are the one feeling envious. Yet, there is next to nothing out there to offer guidance for folks who are on the receiving end of envy.
Clearly, I'm not a psychologist. I am innately happy though. That unto its self has caused me my share of being exposed to someone else's envy.
This is the advice I gave my younger friend as to how to deal with her envious family member and it's the advice I would give to anyone else in a situation like hers.

• Watch out, they very well may try to sabotage you. I don't know if its more sad or scary that some people get to this level. Regardless though, protect yourself. Don't give them enough info for them to ever make use of it. Don't give them the name of the company that just made you an offer. Don't tell them which restaurant your boyfriend made special reservations at.

• Do not let them bait you into arguing with them. That's EXACTLY what they want you to do. It gives them self validation that they are right in thinking that you are an awful person and that you do not deserve what you have (and that they covet).

• Expect passive aggressive behavior. They will try to tell you and anyone else for that matter how you've "wronged" them. Often, it will be about stuff that has nothing to do with what they envy you for. Maybe they are upset that you are going on vacation, but a vacation is not in their budget this year. Out of seemingly the blue, they might say how you have become a bad friend and are not there for them. The best way to deal with this, is to stay your authentic self. Someone else might believe them initially. However, everyone else will eventually see that your behavior and actions do not reconcile with what the envious person is saying about you. Sooner than later, it becomes obvious to everyone that this person is lying BECAUSE they are envious of you. Trust me, it becomes embarrassingly obvious what they are up to. 

• Always remember, THEY are the problem-not you. We are all responsible for our own lives and our own happiness. When a healthy person feels pangs of envy coming on, they use it as motivation. The people who get overcome with with this nasty, bitter envy and resentment are typically the same people who feel that their happiness is everyone else's responsibility. If only their spouse would earn more money, they would be happy. If only their child tried harder to become homecoming queen, etc. Their lack of self-awareness is not your 'fault'.  Nor, is it your obligation to accommodate.

I finished my chat with my sweet , younger friend with this for perspective as to what she is actually dealing with from her envious family member...

Have you ever felt as if you were on the receiving end of envy? How did you deal with it? What advice would you give?

XO,

SheShe

Reviewing The New Huda Beauty Resting Boss Face Setting Spray

And POOF! just like that, it was Monday again. 
Where did the weekend go, Babes?

I've tried a new, highly hyped setting spray. I wanted to share it with you today.

First of all, if you are asking "What is a setting spray?" Or "Is a setting spray really necessary?"...
Think of the clear top coat on your manicure. It keeps the polish in place and is the barrier that keeps it on. Setting spray does the same thing for your makeup. Is it necessary? For me, yup. It sure is.

As we get into the summer months its very easy to have your makeup literally melt right off. The heat and humidity will do one heck of a number on your face. 

After watching one of my favorite MUAs go on and on about this setting spray, I had to try it. His name is Wayne Goss, and the man knows his stuff.
 Click Here to see his review.

This setting spray costs $32.00 and you can purchase it at Sephora.


I was very excited to open it up for the 1st time.

I took this picture to show the size of it in my hand. Its a full 32 ounces. That is a larger bottle than any of the other settings sprays I own.

First thoughts upon application:

• Holy heck, it STUNG when I applied it. I DO NOT have sensitive skin, but it hurt for about 10 straight seconds.
• When I first apply it, it makes my eyes water.
• As Wayne Goss said, "It smells like a migraine." It has a very pungent scent like rubbing alcohol.

Truth be told, I was initially thinking "This is a one and done, its going back!" However, after wearing it all day, I changed my tune.

After wearing it for a full 11 hours, these were my thoughts:

• My makeup looked EXACTLY like it did at 9:00 PM as it did at 6:30 AM.
• It is completely matte, no shine break through at all.
• Its so good at what it does, washing my makeup was a b*tch.

So, I've decided its NOT going back. Still, it's not going to be a part of my daily rotation. My skin is just far too dry already to be able to accommodate this much alcohol hitting it on a regular basis. 

I do think this will be perfect for special occasions. If anyone you know is getting married or will be in a wedding, get them a bottle of this!

Also, I think this is going to be my go-to on those super hot sweltering days.

There you have it friends. I hope this gives you a bit of insight on this setting spray.

Go on and rock this week like the star that you are!

XO,

SheShe

The Friday Five ..and random pictures of teenage me.

Happy (almost) summer Friday!
I was so happy to see a Friday Five about clothing! Woo-Hoo!




1) What is the most outrageous style you've ever rocked?
Okay, I've always been pretty mainstream. I've never been into anything "outrageous". I will say though, I did follow some of the trends in the early "00's. And OHMYGOD those were tragic times for fashion and beauty.

2) As a teen, were you an emo, goth, punk, grunger, or prep?
Preppy. Always was, and I think I always will be. My very first job was at "The Limited". I got a 30% discount. I had a mom who was very generous. So, I had lots and lots of clothes. That was always my "thing".

(Before I discovered Zoom whitening..or ANY teeth whitening)

                                            (Proudly showing off something in my locker)

3) Have you ever had a crazy hairstyle/color?
No, not really. There were a few mishaps though. When I was 19, I thought if I dyed my hair darkest brown that I'd look like Courtney Cox. Nope, I looked like "Elvira".
Then, there was the time I tried doing my own highlights. I'll just leave it at this... Homemade blonde hair is always a VERY bad idea.

(This is my "virgin" hair. This is the (was..now, I've got lots of grays) natural color and texture of my hair)

4) Do you think we ever really grow out of our teen selves?
Teenage me was just a less developed version of 39 year old me. I had the same personality then as I do now. I had the same fashion sense then as I do now. I'd just like to think I'm a more evolved, developed version of who I was when I was that 17 year old girl.

    ( By senior year, I'd fallen for the trend of SUPER thin eyebrows...URRGHH.. WHY? Why, SheShe..just WHY??)



5) Is there any fashion style you wish you could wear but maybe don't have the confidence?

Ah, one of the greatest things about getting older is that you have the confidence to do and wear what you please!
If there is something I like, I wear it. 

I love when you guys send me your answers to these same questions, so please don't be shy!!!


XO,
SheShe

Etiquette Tips from 77 years ago

Hi Friends! How is this first week of June treating you?
Today, if you'll indulge me I wanted to deviate slightly from the beauty blog theme. 
Back story; my father and grandmother (both now deceased) used to love to go antique hunting together . It was their "thing". 
One day when I was 12,they came back with this book for me. "Mrs. Oliver Harriman's Book Of Etiquette" , published in 1942.
I have had a fascination with all things from the WWII era #historydork for as long as I can remember. 

The other night, I was looking for something else and stumbled upon this. I hadn't opened this book in years. I started going through it again , boy was it a trip.

There were a few things that were down right offensive (to me at least). Such as this advice that the war effort having women working outside of the home was no excuse to not be domestic. You see , being domestic and bearing children is what we do... yea, this one made me cringe.

There were a few chapters in the book that pretty much only applied to 1940's life. Such as how to best entertain  an entire fleet of sailors at your home.

However, there is quite a bit in here that is just as applicable today as it was when it was written 77 years ago. 

This is the thing, while someone might not notice if you have good manners, MANY people will notice if you DON'T. 

Case in point. I'm now exposed on a somewhat regular basis to someone who interrupts everyone else, talks with a mouth full of food, licks their fingers in lieu of using a napkin and is continually butting into the business of others. 

This person's behavior ends up being discussed in quite the unfavorable light.

Things for sure are more relaxed nowadays. However, there are still standards that we all need to meet in regards to our manners and behavior.

Here is one that I think still applies today. Don't wear garish makeup (We've talked about that before (Read that Here) and don't be obvious when putting makeup on. Don't do it at the dinner table, excuse yourself to the restroom.

Manners at the Opera... Clearly, going to the Opera isn't as common now as it was in the 1940's and 1950's (Still though, its MAGICAL when you do go). These "rules" though, apply to activities that are common place today.

Going to the movies? Don't talk! Don't be texting either. 

A few other my personal "deal breakers" with etiquette are these:

• Do not talk with food in your mouth
• Show up on time! If something starts at 8:00, BE THERE by 8:00. Don't come in huffing and puffing at 8:30 with excuses
• Don't be on your phone while in the company of others. 
• Be dressed appropriately, i.e no showing up in dirty, wrinkled clothes
• Don't interrupt or speak over others. Their thoughts are just as important as yours, so wait your turn.
• RSVP to invitations and write thank-you notes . If someone has the kindness to invite you somewhere or give you a gift, you'd better find the time to respond and thank them.
• Hold the door for the person behind you
• Say "please" and "thank you" 

What etiquette standards do you follow? Conversely, what tings do you find rude?

Thank you for taking this time hop back to 1942 with me!

XO,

SheShe

June Needs and Wants

Hello friends!

It's June! The summer solstice is just a few weeks away. Its the time of year that is filled with weddings, graduations, (I'm looking at you Paul Jacob & James!!) first communions, little league games , cookouts and all the other fun things. BTW, are you guys sick of me always talking about my love of all things summer? Sorry! I just cannot help myself!

So, let's dig into my picks for what we need for June!

• A cute hat

                                      Panama Hat $39.00

I have this hat. One day last summer I went to visit my boss and his husband at their place in Provincetown (The very tip of Cape Cod). My skin was burning faster than we could keep applying the sunscreen.  (Yes, we not me. It was a group effort) Bill said to me "We just need to get you a hat, the sunscreen cant keep up with the sun." He bought me a hat right there and then. I realized that yes, they can be cute and yes, they do work. 

I liked this one so much, as soon as I got home, I ordered the Nordstrom one too.

• A Rose based fragrance
  
                                    Jo Malone Red Roses $136

Rose is the flower of June. My rose bushes are budding. I cannot wait for their fragrance to fill our yard. I absolutely love their scent.

This perfume by Jo Malone replicates that smell perfectly. Literally, EVERY SINGLE TIME I wear this, I get stopped and asked what I'm wearing. Men ask, women ask. This fragrance just naturally draws people in.

•  A pair of Classic Jack Rogers

                                                                     Jack Rogers $118

These sandals have been around forever. They are stylish and comfortable. Plus, they last FOREVER. I'm just now replacing my silver pair. Do you know when I bought their predecessors? In June of 2012. 7 Years ago! I think if I calculated out the cost per wear, my last pair ended up equating to 1/2 of a cent per wear.

• A pair of pearl drop earrings

                                                     Natash Schweitzer Earrings $280

Pearl is June's birthstone. Long associated with riches and elegance, it's never not in style. 

I love these drop style pearl earrings. They would go with every and anything.

• A lighter foundation

                                                      IT Cosmetics CC Cream $39

                                                       Revlon Candid Foundation

There are two products linked here, because I love them both. 

As we get into warmer weather, a full coverage foundation cannot help but look out of place.

IT Cosmetics CC cream has an SPF of 50, which I love.

Revlon's Candid foundation is great as well. It does the job without looking caked on.

• L'Oreal Tanning Water

                                                           L'Oreal Tanning Water $15

I know, I know...I wrote about this in my last blog post. Its just that this stuff is THAT good.

It gives you enough color to make it worth your while to apply. However, its light enough that you really don't need to worry about any OOPS!

FYI, if you come across it, buy it! Both Ulta and Target have said they are having a tough time keeping this in stock!

Okay, So do tell...what are your musts for June? Do tell!

XO,

SheShe

 

 

It's (almost) June! Let's talk tanning!

Okay, so technically tomorrow is June, but still. June & July are my two favorite months of the year. This is simply the best time of the whole year to me.

Last year, I did two posts on sunless tanning. Read those Here and Here. They were two of my most popular posts to date.  Sunless tanning is here to stay to say the least.

I was putting around on Instagram the other day. On the post of a sunless tanning brand, I saw a lady ask "Why is it that some folks can put their sunless tanner on and no one believes its not a real tan, when the rest of us end up a hot streaky mess?"
After she had commented, many other people had echoed her sentiments. So, I thought today it might be good to drill down even further than I had on my past tanning posts with more tips and info as to how to make you be the one with the tan that nobody believes could possibly be sunless.


First off, a little bit of back ground. I've been sunless tanning for over 20 years. I started in junior high. 

Here is me without any tanner on. You can see how fair my skin is. Yes, I do like my fair skin. However, there are times that a girl wants to have a glowing tan. I learned a a young age that all the sun was going to do to my skin was burn it. I just don't have enough melanin to tan. So, somewhere around 13 or 14, I started my "sunless tanning journey".

Let me say this, if it has been a few years since you have last tried a sunless tanner, give it another go.
The leaps and bounds that sunless tanners have come in even the last few years is really impressive.

• Baking soda is your friend

Baking soda mixed with water into paste form has become my primary way to exfoliate. We (should) all know at this point how important it is to really get that dead, flaky skin off prior to applying a tanner. However, many exfoliating scrubs on the market are oil based. That can spell danger for your tan. The oil from the scrub will create a barrier between the tanner and your skin. This will cause splotches of dark and light all over. 

• You must spot treat certain parts of your body

Immediately before tanning , apply a thick cream or thin layer of Vaseline on your knees, elbows and heels. If you personally have any patches of skin that tend to be drier or thicker than the rest of your skin, apply it there too.

• Buy an electric razor

I learned this trick last summer. My tan would fade off of my legs at a ,much quicker rate then anywhere else.
This is because each time you shave with a traditional razor, you are removing the top layer of skin as well. An electric razor just removes the hair and will help you to extend the tan on your legs.

• Don't apply tanner then go out and about

This my friends, is a recipe for total disaster. Your tanner needs to sit undisturbed for about 8 hours. For me, the best way to do this is to apply it shortly before bed.

• Don't pick the wrong shade

You are probably thinking I'm about to say something along the lines of, "the lighter your skin is, the more you need to stick to tanners that are light."

NO! The exact opposite. I've had so many friends go through the whole process of doing a correct sunless tan, just to awaken to a tan so light that its next to impossible to notice. If you actually want to look like you have a tan choose a formula that is labeled "Dark".

In the winter, I'll use medium shades just to help to warm up my complexion. As light as I am, even I don't use shades that are categorized as "light". I don't find that they accomplish a thing.

• Stock up on pre- moistened makeup removing wipes

As soon as you finish applying your tanner, wipe your palms, in between your finers and the arch of your feet.

The meaty part of your palms will need extra scrubbing , if you are anything like me.

That spot, right there. Really wipe that part down!

• Lastly, let me introduce you to a new "product Hero"

This is L'Oreal's new Tanning Water Mousse.

It's darker than a "gradual tanner", but pretty much goof-up free.

It has a light coconut scent. It does not have a color guard that will need to be rinsed off in the morning. (Be extra diligent about blending!)

One coat looks as if you were outside all day on a beautiful June afternoon. Two coats looks as if you spent a day on the beach and three coats looks like you went on vacation to someplace warm.

I can see this one becoming my new default tanner.

Do you have any tips that I don't? Please share!

XO,

SheShe