Hello, Mes Amies! Welcome to Wednesday!
Guys, I'm SO excited. Its only 2 days until I can shop Nordstrom's Anniversary sale. Seeing the early access that I have, I'm hopeful I might be able to get everything on my list. Stay tuned, I'll let you know shortly!
Anyhow, today I wanted to have a chit-chat type of post. I wanted to talk to you today about happiness.
Mind you, I am NOT a therapist or councilor of any type. I'm just sharing thoughts with you, friend to friend. I'd love to hear your thoughts as well.
I'm often asked "WHY are you always so happy?" Or " How are you always so happy" , or the backhanded " You can't always be this happy, it must be an act."
First things first. I'm not ALWAYS happy. I'm a human being who feels the full range of human emotions. With that said though, I do feel that my "happiness set point" is higher than average. Also, after feeling other emotions, I feel that I return to happiness pretty quickly. Why is this? I cannot give you a proof positive answer, but I can tell you why I think this is the case.
1) Gratitude
This is huge. Everyday, I notice and focus on what I am grateful for. I'm not talking about for big things. I'm grateful for being able bodied and able to get up out of bed. I'm grateful That I'm waking up in a nice, safe house.
A few weeks back, I ran out of my office to grab a coffee. The coffee shop is less than four doors down from my office. The sky was getting dark , but it was still dry. I left my umbrella at my desk. Right as rain (pun intended) , I got out side and immediately thunder cracked, lightening illuminated the sky, and the heaviest, torrential rain started.
My immediate reaction was "My timing is PERFECT. If I had gone for coffee 5 minutes earlier, I'd of missed the thunder & lightning and the feel of this warm summer rain on my skin."
It wasn't until I got back into my office that it was pointed out to me that the standard way of looking at this situation would of been to think my timing sucked because I got caught in the rain. . The situation was the same, but the lens from which it was viewed is what was different.
2) Who is in your circle
You know the old adage, "you are the company you keep". If you are around negative, unhappy people, they will suck your happiness right out of you. I experienced this first hand myself, Read About That Here
Like attracts like. When you surround yourself with other happy , positive people it will elevate you.
3) No Comparisons to Others
This one is another biggie. I do not compare myself to others. I do not get into or engage in "competitions" with others. My only competition is myself. It sounds so cliche, I know. Its true though. I'm only trying to "out-do" past versions of myself.
When I was a little kid my Nana had said something to me along the lines of " When you compare yourself to others, you'll think that you are better then them or that they are better than you. In either case, you are wrong."
That sentiment has stayed with me all these years. Someone else's beauty, talents, or gifts has absolutely no bearing on my life or path. My gifts and blessings have nothing to do with you or your life.
4) The Active Pursuit of Goals
When you set goals and accomplish them, it generates a huge since of pride and satisfaction with yourself.
Where I think most people go wrong is they start with huge things, say to be in a triathlon or to buy a vacation home. Of course these are both worthy goals . What I'm talking about though are goals that we can reach in a short amount of time, i.e. " I will get up a 5:30 am each day this week. " Or " I will eat 4 servings of vegetables today."
Doing this gets you in the mind set of "I accomplish my goals." Which in turn, makes reaching those big goals much more likely. Its a snowball effect.
5) The Ability To Cope
I see quite often with the younger generation things like " I'm triggered." Along with the misplaced belief that if something triggers them, it must immediately be dropped.
However, as you get into real life situations, you realize that it does not work like this. No matter who you are, there will be upsetting , traumatizing things. You have to be able to self sooth and regulate your self.
These are the key things that come to mind with me pertaining to happiness.
What do you think most contributes to your happiness?
XO,
SheShe
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