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Monday, January 11, 2016

Love, Life, heartache and coping with it all....

Happy Monday my shimmering friends!

I was thinking recently about how in life, we all have crosses to bear. We all have challenges, sadness and hard times. Its part of the of being a living human being.

I'll be the first to admit it does seem as if some folks get FAR more than their share of hard times and not nearly as much joy and happiness as they should have.
There is a man I have known for years. He lost both of his children, two beautiful sons. Through no fault of his or their own. Both were cases of auto accidents. It is plain awful, how is there any explanation for that?
On the flip side, we all know people who live what appears to be charmed lives. They seem to be free of loss and stress. Folks that have never buried a loved one, folks who have never had any serious financial issues. Its easy to envy them. It is easy to think how unfair it is. Particularly , if you are in the midst of a hard time of your own.

Several years ago, I worked with a woman like this.  She truly had a wonderful life. She, had never known disappointment . When she was 12 she had tried out for the soccer team and didn't make it. Instead of having to accept not making the cut, her father would drive her 40 minutes each way to a soccer team miles away. That team's coach was a business associate of her father. Who walked her right onto the team.
She had both parents and all four grandparents alive and well. She had a beautiful, healthy four year old son. She had an adoring husband whom she married the week after they graduated college.
When she graduated college , she couldn't bear the thought of going to work for someone else. So, her parents bought her a company of her own. She made this company very successful.
It might seem easy to be jaded toward this woman. However, she was a warm , loving person. Always kind, always supportive, always generous. She had the love and respect of those who surrounded her.
She and her husband were trying for another baby. One beautiful, sunny autumn day,she announced to the entire company that she was pregnant!!!!  Not a dry eye could be found in the room! We were all SO happy.
Then...it happened. Autumn became winter. We were smack dab in the holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah and New Years were all the focus.
On the first day of her 10th week of pregnancy, she miscarried.  Devastation. WHY? HOW? She literally did everything "right". It was horrific.  There had been sonogram pictures all over our office. We all were in love with that little, growing life. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
Now, we all knew that she would need to take some serious time to grieve. Obviously.
Then, we found out from her husband that she had breakdown. She had been hospitalized. I stayed at the company another 6 months. She never came back. I don't even know when she was released from the hospital that was helping her with her mental health issues. Her family closed her off to everyone. We couldn't give a phone call, pay a visit, send flowers. Nothing.
Now, I am the first to admit, I'm not yet a parent. I have never experienced anything like this, thanks to God.
I cannot but help to think that she had been failed somehow. Her entire life she had been shielded from any struggles, hardship, loss, pain etc. Then , suddenly she found herself as a 35 year old woman who was dealt a devastating loss and she didn't have a single tool as to how to cope with it.
She didn't have any experience to draw from. She didn't have the knowing that she had survived past heartache.
So maybe , as hard as it might be we should embrace our trials as much as we do our joys? I know its SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE.
However, that unexpected $900 auto repair, the jerk who left you for the girl at his office, the not landing that dream job might be things to be thankful for in the long run. Perhaps, its these things that by overcoming them have given us the strength we need to deal with the truly awful things when they happen?
Anyhow, all I can say is to be so thankful and appreciative when things ARE going well.




XOXO  SheShe

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